She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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