Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize