Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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