my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
