Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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