I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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