like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
