i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
