And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
