He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
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