rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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