I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
