i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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