So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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