Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Found your dick twin last night
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
