mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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