I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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