She's JV to your varsity
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
She's the barista slut.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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