You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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