I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
