i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
