Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
