apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
