i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
