im holly from the hills drunk
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
3pm strippers are depressing
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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