I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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