She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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