I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I am available for nakedness
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
