So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
