i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
