and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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