Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I enjoy the company of your penis
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