i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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