Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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