I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
You need a sexual gate keeper
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
