Christians are straight up FREAKS
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
