I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I'm getting married
To pizza
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize
