just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
