she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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