Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She even gives head with a lisp.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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