Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
