I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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