so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
