...so i touched it.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
