oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
