I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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