there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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