My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize
