i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
