She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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