I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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