i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I have already put on my inside pants.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
