sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
