why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
